Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She bit a glass in half.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
