do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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