Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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