i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
