I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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