Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
