dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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