This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
