Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
