if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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