She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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