You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
