You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
