A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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