Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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