I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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