forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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