Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize