dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
