So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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