Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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