the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
