Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
