best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
