So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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