oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
