I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
