Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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