Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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