And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I love having hate sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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