So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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