she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize