where does the pee come out of this thing
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
