Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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