Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
