i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
