you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
