Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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