I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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