She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
