I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
