they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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