fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
