I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm bleeding and have questions
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
