READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
