She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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