porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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