R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
