okay pat passed out under dana's car
her vagine was all disorganized.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
