So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
