My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize