Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
