someone get that fucking seahorse.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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