Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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