I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize