The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
