i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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