Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
