sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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