You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if only i could text you this smell
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
