You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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