I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
