good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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