I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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