we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
