yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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